  Parents
Helping Parents
A Parent to Parent Support
Newsletter
May 2005 |
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If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-Al Bernstein |
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Teens with Disabilities |
The teen years are characterized by rapid physical and emotional
changes. It is a time of developing your own identity and finding where
disability fits into the whole picture. This period is marked by
increased attention to body image, sexuality, and acceptance. You will
probably face many physical and emotional conflicts in the transition to
adulthood. It is a time to think about the things you are good at and
focus on your strengths. It is a time to think about the things you like
to do and focus on your interests. It is a time to think about your
experiences like the things you have done with friends, around the
house, at an internship or a job. It is a time to dream about now and
the future, make plans, and have goals.
You can begin planning for your own success. It is important for you to
take an active role in planning for your future. While it may be
difficult for parents to let you assume responsibility and control, it
is important for your future. As a person with a disability, you are
more likely to be successful as an adult if you have experience making
your own decisions and choices.
It is important to learn and practice self-advocacy skills. By
practicing, you can become comfortable about being an effective
advocate. Being a good self-advocate means that you know your rights,
stand up for your rights, take responsibility for your life, and ask for
help because you want or need it. By becoming a good self-advocate, you
will become more independent and
more able to manage your disability.
This does not mean that you have to do everything
alone as everyone depends on other people at different times for
different reasons. |
For teens with a chronic illness or a disability, adolescence is a time
of development and challenge. Adolescence is a unique developmental time
characterized by emerging independence, rapid cognitive and physical
growth, and the development of an identity. Teens become concerned about
physical appearance. Peer relationships and acceptance develop special
significance. Chronic illness and disability may impose physical
limitations and require repeat medical visits and complex medical
treatments. Overemphasis on disability and lack of information may lead
you to underestimate current and future personal, vocational, and
economic capabilities.
Youth with disabilities face many of the same issues as all youth. You
will experience both rewards and challenges as you pursue full
participation in social activities, relationships, college, employment,
and living on your own. You will have your experience with disability as
you develop your interests and goals. As you develop your interests and
goals, they will be the same as or similar as non-disabled teenagers.
A disability may affect you in many ways by:
- Complicating the development of independence
- interfering with a connection to peers
- Introducing a new set of emotional conflicts during an already
emotionally charged time
- Adding stress with relationships due to
limited social activities or increased need for support
- Imposing physical changes and limitations
- Affecting self-esteem and self-concept.
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Teens (continued) |
Each young person has a unique set of challenges ahead, decisions to
make, and choices to choose from during the teenage years and beyond.
During the teenage years, it is time to start thinking ahead about the
choices you will have to make for planning the next steps you will take.
You will probably be thinking about the following questions:
- What will you do when you leave school?
- What information will you need?
- What opportunities and support are there in your area to do what you
want to do?
- How will you get the help you need and from whom?
- What is the kind of help you would accept – you do not have to accept
help if you do not need it or it is not what you want?
- What help might be out there in the future?
- Who will be involved in the decision-making?
Make sure you are at the center of the planning and decision-making.
What Parents Can Do
A parent’s role in a teen’s adjustment to his or her disability is
critical. In addition to the health and medical care a parent can help
provide, there are important efforts parents can make to incorporate
disability into the family to ensure your child’s adjustment to their
disability. These efforts can go a long way in helping a teenager and
their parents meet the challenges of a disability or illness.
Balance
Parents need to help teens adapt to their disability. This means
recognizing the limitations a disability may impose. It also means
continuing with life as usual, whenever possible.
Family Relationships
A disability can cause stress to family members because of additional
demands placed on the family. Family members need to maintain a
commitment to all family members.
As in all families, keeping communication open is
helpful. |
Spend time together that is not focused on the disability. Siblings
often feel overlooked when a brother’s or sister’s needs demand so much
family time.
Coping
Parents can help teens learn new ways to cope with the challenges of a
disability. This may be difficult if the family has not had experience
with disability in the past. Discussing with a teen their experience
with disability, coping with the everyday experience of disability, how
disability affects him or her, and finding solutions to problems can be
helpful. Teens can participate in activities, build on their strengths,
and develop pride in their ability to meet challenges.
Peer Relationships
Oftentimes, disability interferes with routines and activities. For
teens, a particularly devastating consequence can be the weakening or
loss of friendships. Friends can grow apart as a result of these
changes. Encouraging teens to keep involved with their peers and making
extra effort to maintain connections can go a long way in helping a teen
cope with a disability. Helping teens to find ways to make and maintain
relationships is critical.
Hopefulness
Looking for the positive in situations and keeping optimistic are
important. This does not mean negative feelings should be ignored.
Concerns and worries should be recognized. All possible positive
outcomes need to be considered.
Personal Care Assistance
Families may be the primary caregivers for teenagers who need personal
care assistance with routine daily care. Families may use assistance
from outside sources such as friends, neighbors or personal care
assistants hired by the individual with a disability or by the family.
For long-range planning, it is helpful for a teenager to participate as
much as possible in the process of finding, identifying, hiring, and
training a personal care assistant in order to gradually learn the
skills that are necessary to later manage a disability as an adult.
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Teens (continued) |
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When to Seek Help
Coping with the challenges of a disability can be a difficult challenge
for anyone. For a teen, the more their disability interferes with
school, friends, and activities, the more difficult the adjustment to
the disability may be. The challenges may or may not require
professional help.
Some teens will find support and guidance important
at this time even if their usual network of family and friends is
supportive. It may be useful to seek the advice and counsel of a peer
with a disability or a mental health professional. If the problem is
disability based, a professional with experience in the field of
disability is useful and important.
Professionals need to be concerned
about a teens concern for privacy, confidentiality and independence.
Professionals can support teens’ coping, development, and health. Teens
who appear depressed or who show other signs of depression may benefit
from professional help.
*Adapted from the Family friendly fun website:
www.family-friendly-fun.com
Real Lives Real Jobs
A conference for teachers, parents and others who support students ages
12-21 who experience developmental disabilities.
Featuring: Douglas Fisher, Ph.D
Dr. Fisher is nationally known for his work in inclusive secondary
education and school-to-work transition
When: Saturday, June 4, 2005
9:00am 3:30pm
Where: The Embassy Suites Hotel
15920 West Valley Highway
Tukwila, WA
Cost: Workshop registration is $25 and includes continental breakfast
and buffet lunch
Contact Teri Johnson at 206-269-0232 or email
teri@oneillandassociates.com for more information or to register
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 On April 23rd the P2P Teens group met at the Outback Kangaroo farm in
Arlington.
The experience was "up close and personal" as the teens were able to go
right in the pens with the kangaroos and wallabies and hand feed them.
They also got to take turns holding an
8-month old joey. Some of the teens were brave enough to put a feed
pellet between their lips and let the llama and alpaca gently give them
a "kiss".
 It
was a real adventure! For more
information on the Outback's tours:
Call (360) 403-7474
or see their webpage at
www.christmastreesandroos.com
Join the teens group at our next outing!
 The
Arc of King County
Parent to Parent
Teen Group
The Parent to Parent Teens group plans a
monthly social activity. Our next event will be at Adventure Bowling
Center in Snoqualmie on Sunday, May 22nd at 1pm. If your family would
like to join us, please call:
Jodi Reimer at (206) 364-4645 x121
To find out about future activities, please join our email
support/information group by sending a blank email to:
p2pteens-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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 Please Join us for our Seventh
Annual Dinner Auction
Saturday, June 4, 2005
The Atrium at the Seattle Design Center
5701 Sixth Avenue South, Seattle
For more information/R.S.V.P. Online
at
www.arcofkingcounty.org/auction |
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